I sit here, four years post-college to the day, and going through my old college graduation blog posts from 2014. Every May I do this; I get all my good, evergreen college posts ready to be scheduled on social media for a new crop of seniors to read and I get emotional.

Just remembering how it felt to write those blog posts in my off-campus apartment while crying my eyes out and thinking I wouldn't know how to survive without the place I called home; without the place I cherished more than anything else in my life.

Those first 6 months, and even the first year after graduation I felt like I was drowning. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to be an adult and all I wanted was to crawl back in the cocoon that was college. I wasn't ready and I didn't think I ever would be.

Yet, here I am and I'm ok.

How did I end up here, four years later?



Who would've thought my life has changed this much from the moment I walked across the stage at Madison Square Garden?

I've been through a lot the past four years; friendships ended and friendships began, I've moved from one house to another, I lost my dad, and I've struggled a lot with my mental health. I've struggled with my career, my social life, my love life, and balancing everything in-between.

However, despite all of that I am still standing and I'm doing pretty good, and not just from the outside looking in.

I have what some would say is a dream job, even though it doesn't even feel like work. I have all of my college friends and talk to them almost every day. I have a wonderful family and support system. I recently got a promotion at work, and I'm still blogging. Plus, I have a side project or two in the works that I hope to finish by the end of the year.

If 21-year-old Briana could look at 25-year-old Briana, she would think she's doing pretty great and despite everything, life has thrown at her the past four years, she came out on the other side.

And that's the thing I've learned most the past four years.

Everything is going to be ok in the end, even if you don't think it will be. Even if there is no light at the end of the very long tunnel, things have a way of just working itself out.

You get over that boy, you find that job, you get over your nerves about an interview, you learn to handle work confrontations, you still find time for your friends... in the end, it's all ok.

I went through the worst thing to ever happen to me: my dad died and yet, here I am. I survived.

Somedays I wake up and don't know how I got here but I know that I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Without college, without the horrible experience and depression I had after graduating, I don't know where I'd be. I think in a way it made me stronger and tougher because, before my dad, I lost the one real thing that was special to me.

It sucks, I won't lie, to see your campus change and people you knew as freshmen are now long gone.  Nothing looks the same and the people are drastically different but whenever you walk back onto that campus, you suddenly feel like you've traveled back in time.

Whenever I go back to New Rochelle and visit Iona, I immediately start to cry. As soon as I see the campus sign, I get extremely emotional and am driving through the tears. It's a weird feeling, for sure, but more than anything, it makes me happy.

I'm so happy that after all this time, even with everything that has changed here and in my life, the feeling I have toward this place has never changed.

When I'm with my college friends, the feeling they give me is still the same feeling as all those years ago and that makes my heart sing loudly.

Because the truth is, no matter where you go or however much time passes, the feeling you have around those people that changed you will still be there.

So to anyone who is reading this and scared shitless of putting on their cap and gown -- don't be. I promise you, if I am ok, you will be ok too.

You can always go home again, even if the home isn't your college campus but those people who grew up with you and helped you become the person you are today.

You may leave a place and leave people but they never really leave you.

xoxo
B

This weekend I took a trip back to my college town and just like all the other trips before, since I graduated in 2014, it felt like no time has passed.

My sorority hosted an alumnae brunch so I got to see my friends as well as meet some of the younger, new girls in the sorority. It was so great being in our local bar, surrounded by different generations of Phi Sigma Sigma ladies. Seeing the sorority grow yet remain the same is so cool and so weird.

I pledged my sorority back in 2011, as a college sophomore. I didn't have the greatest freshmen year and was rejected from the sororities in the spring semester. I was counting on a bid from one of the organizations on campus because I had such a tough time making friends. When that wasn't the case, I considered transferring.

I didn't want to be at college without a sorority, I felt like that made the college experience; I'm not saying you CAN'T be at college without Greek life because you 100% can. I have a lot of friends who enjoyed their college experience to the highest degree and weren't part of Greek life. However, looking back now, I am so glad I stayed at Iona and went out for recruitment again in the Fall.

I got a bid to all the sororities I was rejected from; oh what a difference a few months can make. At Iona and at a lot of other small schools, it's easier to get a bid in the Fall semester because the freshmen aren't allowed to rush, so it's a smaller group of girls. Standing out amongst 40 is a lot easier than 100.

What happened next changed my life. I was part of this huge organization who held such a standard on campus. Within my sorority I started to take leadership roles and I said that I could see myself being on the executive board some day.

Socially, I had 50 girls on campus that I was able to have lunch with, go out with, and hang out with whenever I wanted. I had a pledge class of 4 girls who I loved with all my heart, and a big sister who I looked up to so much. My social life had changed drastically and it felt good to have a place of belonging.

Throughout my life I always had big groups of friends. In elementary school, I was super close with my entire class and then in high school, I had a group of 10-15 girls who I called my best friends. I went to an all girls' high school and being surrounded by all those girls all the time really made me feel confident and right at home.

That's why I had such a hard time in college. It was weird not having a set group of friends immediately, but that's what Phi Sigma Sigma gave me.



It may sound weird but I really cared and loved all the girls in my sorority. Did we have drama? Sure we did but not as much as you'd think. If anything, the drama was over our sorority budget or where to have formal. It was never anything that ended friendships or threatened the sisterhood.

Eventually, I became Vice President of the sorority and that changed everything. People respected me and I had power. That sounds horrible, but I mean it in the best way possible. I made changes in the sorority and people, till this day, look up to me for it.

I gained leadership skills, I was able to speak and hold my own in front of a room of 70+ young women who had very different opinions on everything and made it known. I was able to be helpful and problem solve. I planned events and dealt with our advisors. My leadership in my sorority, and in school because I was on our Greek Council Board as well, helped me in ways I still don't think I realize.

I always thought I could be a leader but didn't know until it was happening how much I was fit for a position like this. I loved it so much I'm an advisor for my sorority at a different chapter at a different school.

When I graduated, I was really depressed. My anxiety came back and I missed my friends. It was really hard on me and even now, I still get sad thinking about how I'll never have what I once did. Senior year of college was truly the best year of my life and I look back at it so fondly.

Weekends like this weekend, when I go back and don't know everyone in the room but somehow they know me and I feel a connection with them, that's what my sorority always meant to me. It was forming a bond with all these girls who joined for the same reasons I did and even though I just met them, we have this connection and it's something really special.

Walking down the street with my best friends, and seeing my college campus across the street, nothing has ever really changed. I'm the same girl all those years ago, I just have a full time job and different responsibilities.

Do I wish I could go to a fraternity party every weekend, sit in class and wake up at noon? Of course I do. I'd give anything to go back to my college days because weekends like this remind me of all I've left behind.

The good thing is, it'll always be my home and no matter how much time passes, it's still so incredibly special to me.

xoxo
B

March Madness is upon us and coming from a school that lives and breathes basketball, I'm programmed to like March Madness.

Iona doesn't have a football team so basketball is our main focus. While I was in school I loved getting dressed up for games in my best Iona gear and cheering on our team. Also, it was always so exciting to watch the championships to see if Iona actually gets a chance to compete in March Madness.

I remember two years ago, the entire school in our local bar, watching the Gaels compete in the first NCAA game. We're an Irish school so we obviously have a pipe band and having the pipe band stand on the bar and play as we all cheered on the team is such a great memory.

Even this year, as an alumnae, I watched eagerly at home on ESPN to see if Iona beat our rivals, the Manhattan College Jaspers to score another ticket to the NCAA. Unfortunately we didn't but I still love game day.

It's so much fun to be dressed head to toe in school spirit. Sometimes, I'd throw on jeans and an Iona T-shirt and call it a day but other times I wanted to be a little more fashionable and stick a gold bow in my hair and throw a cardigan over a maroon tank top.

I know some people at really big schools go all out for game day; they paint their faces and coordinate outfits from their makeup to their shoes. Something along those lines that's really cool, fun, and easy is temporarily dyeing your hair.

Wait, just hear me out.

A hair dye that comes in your school colors, that you can apply within minutes before the big game, and washes out in 3 shampoos? The Garnier Color Styler is the perfect product for that.

I've seen so many hair chalks on the market lately but those rub off on your clothes and can be messy; this temporary (2-3 shampoos and it's gone!) hair dye is not like that at all.

If you want to make a bold statement, if you want everyone to know how much you support your school and how dedicated you are, this is the way to do it.

Just think, if you walk into the game decked head to toe in school colors, including your hair, no one will ever question your fan-hood. Plus, it's always nice to test out a different look and play around. What better to do that with than temporary hair dye?

The Garnier Color Styler is a water based, quick drying hair dye that comes in a variety of colors (you'll have plenty to choose from depending on your school). It doesn't rub off onto your clothes, like a hair chalk might, and it washes out in 2-3 washes so by the time class comes on Monday, your blue or yellow hair will be gone.

Everything you need before getting started

Right after I dyed my hair OMG

I wish I knew about this when I was in school because I would've rocked it for March Madness and other events like Spring weekend or homecoming! That's the great thing about the Garnier Color Styler, it's perfect for any occasion.

The application is super simple (I've never done an at home hair dye before and it was a breeze for me). All you have to do is apply a dollop of the dye onto your glove covered fingers (gloves included) and apply a thin, even coat to your DRY hair. If you want a deeper color, you can go back and apply another layer.

Let your hair dry (whether you let it dry naturally or use a hair dryer) and viola! your hair is ready for game day!

I showcased my game day style and my newly dyed hair using the Garnier Color Styler in red. Iona's colors are maroon and gold so I thought red was a nice touch! I decided to do two looks, one more casual and one a little more fashionable.

The red is a little hard to see (and excuse the terrible background, I am NOT a fashion blogger by nature)

More selfies to capture the Color Styler

True school spirit #Gaels

Add a bow for a girly effect (or the sorority effect)

Garnier & Her Campus have been kind enough to offer Royally Pink readers a coupon to purchase your own Garnier Color Styler, in the color of your choice! Go to your local drugstore to pick up a Color Styler in your school colors. They have bronze, red, pink, blue, and purple so the possibilities are endless.

What colors will you be rocking on game day? What do you think of temporary hair dyes? Tell me in the comments!

Little and Big :)

The whole dam fam #TSM

My sisters are the greatest, most beautiful ladies I know

My favorite :)

Mimosas on the train #gradlife

Selfies during the ceremony

Me and my pledge sissy