I sit here, four years post-college to the day, and going through my old college graduation blog posts from 2014. Every May I do this; I get all my good, evergreen college posts ready to be scheduled on social media for a new crop of seniors to read and I get emotional.

Just remembering how it felt to write those blog posts in my off-campus apartment while crying my eyes out and thinking I wouldn't know how to survive without the place I called home; without the place I cherished more than anything else in my life.

Those first 6 months, and even the first year after graduation I felt like I was drowning. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to be an adult and all I wanted was to crawl back in the cocoon that was college. I wasn't ready and I didn't think I ever would be.

Yet, here I am and I'm ok.

How did I end up here, four years later?



Who would've thought my life has changed this much from the moment I walked across the stage at Madison Square Garden?

I've been through a lot the past four years; friendships ended and friendships began, I've moved from one house to another, I lost my dad, and I've struggled a lot with my mental health. I've struggled with my career, my social life, my love life, and balancing everything in-between.

However, despite all of that I am still standing and I'm doing pretty good, and not just from the outside looking in.

I have what some would say is a dream job, even though it doesn't even feel like work. I have all of my college friends and talk to them almost every day. I have a wonderful family and support system. I recently got a promotion at work, and I'm still blogging. Plus, I have a side project or two in the works that I hope to finish by the end of the year.

If 21-year-old Briana could look at 25-year-old Briana, she would think she's doing pretty great and despite everything, life has thrown at her the past four years, she came out on the other side.

And that's the thing I've learned most the past four years.

Everything is going to be ok in the end, even if you don't think it will be. Even if there is no light at the end of the very long tunnel, things have a way of just working itself out.

You get over that boy, you find that job, you get over your nerves about an interview, you learn to handle work confrontations, you still find time for your friends... in the end, it's all ok.

I went through the worst thing to ever happen to me: my dad died and yet, here I am. I survived.

Somedays I wake up and don't know how I got here but I know that I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Without college, without the horrible experience and depression I had after graduating, I don't know where I'd be. I think in a way it made me stronger and tougher because, before my dad, I lost the one real thing that was special to me.

It sucks, I won't lie, to see your campus change and people you knew as freshmen are now long gone.  Nothing looks the same and the people are drastically different but whenever you walk back onto that campus, you suddenly feel like you've traveled back in time.

Whenever I go back to New Rochelle and visit Iona, I immediately start to cry. As soon as I see the campus sign, I get extremely emotional and am driving through the tears. It's a weird feeling, for sure, but more than anything, it makes me happy.

I'm so happy that after all this time, even with everything that has changed here and in my life, the feeling I have toward this place has never changed.

When I'm with my college friends, the feeling they give me is still the same feeling as all those years ago and that makes my heart sing loudly.

Because the truth is, no matter where you go or however much time passes, the feeling you have around those people that changed you will still be there.

So to anyone who is reading this and scared shitless of putting on their cap and gown -- don't be. I promise you, if I am ok, you will be ok too.

You can always go home again, even if the home isn't your college campus but those people who grew up with you and helped you become the person you are today.

You may leave a place and leave people but they never really leave you.

xoxo
B

Ever since my junior year of college, I've been obsessed with career books and self-help books. I never thought there was anything to be embarrassed about when I was browsing the self-help section of Barnes and Noble -- there is something so wonderful about wanting to better yourself and your soul.

To date, one of my highest read posts on Royally Pink is 'Graduation Gifts for Your Big/Little' meaning the best graduation gifts for your sorority sister.

Now, that post can really be for anyone but I wrote it at a time when everything was Greek life to me. I figured what better time than any to write a post about generic graduation gifts for those in your life.

In my opinion, one of the best gifts you could give a graduate is money. It's very inpersonal and some would say tacky but it's the most practical. This person is graduating college, probably without a job and is going to spend the summer in their childhood home with no source of income. A nice savings account is just what the doctor ordered.

However, not everyone is going to agree with that, and I think there are certain people who shouldn't give money as a gift. I think immediate family members are the ones who should stick with cash, but friends and siblings -- this post is for you.

*This also doesn't have to just be for college graduates. High school graduates are included too.



1. Symbolic Jewelry: A piece of jewelry is always a great way to go and it doesn't have to be overly expensive. As long as the piece is sentimental and meaningful, I think it's a great idea. My mom got me a key necklace for high school graduation because it was the key to my future. If something has meaning, it makes all the difference.

The Christmas after graduation, I got this map necklace with the coordinates of my college and it's probably one of the most meaningful pieces I own. I think that is a GREAT gift idea!


2. Graduation Survival Kit: I always loved the idea of a survivial kit for the post grad. Think back to when you graduated college and what you felt like you needed. Give them a coffee mug, a bottle (or three) of their favorite wine, a metrocard (or whatever public transporation card is in your city), a beautiful, fancy notebook, a gift certificate to Moo.com for business cards, and an example of a perfect resume. Anything and everything that you think would be benefical to a post grad, throw it in the kit. It's useful, adorable, and the person will understand the thought behind it.

3. A professional handbag: This is mostly for me because you know how much I love handbags and they are my favorite gift ever. It's not something for everyone but I think if you know someone's taste, you can get it right. A professional, big girl handbag is something that is essential when entering the real world. Whether it's going to grad school, interviews, or your first job, having something professional to carry is a good idea. Also, I've said this before but a handbag as a gift for an occasion such as this can be very sentimental.


4. Professional Experience: If you want be very strategic about the gift you give, get them something that can benefit them in the long run. Maybe it's a meeting with a career coach or recruiter, or maybe a gift certificate to an online class. Something that will benefit the graduate's professional experience is very useful.

There are so many other things you could buy for the grad in your life (some linked below!) but no matter what, make sure to celebrate them because it's a huge deal. They've accomplished so much and are feeling so many different emotions. Make sure they feel loved and supported, they're going to need it.

I'm dubbing this week graduation week because at least for my alma mater, and a few others around me it is the week of college graduation.

My sister is graduating on Friday (weird that a college graduation is on a Friday but whatever) and I know she's been experiencing the emotions I did four years ago at this time.

I can't believe that it's been four years since I graduated college and my life changed more drastically and dramatically than I ever could've imagined.

I'll do more of a catch up on Thursday, the actual 4 year anniversary of my graduation but for now, I want to give you, the graduating senior, a few tips to enjoy the last week of sweet freedom.



1. Go to all the school events: Even if you think some of the events are corny, go to everything that your school is throwing for you. Whether it's a senior BBQ, a formal, or any kind of get together, go to it. Go alone if you can't find one of your friends to go with. You will enjoy those moments and reflect on them for years to come. As important it is to be with your friends, it's important to be on campus and be with your classmates, friends or not.

2. Don't Stress About School: It's over, forget it. Don't spend too much time in the library (unless you're with your friends and having a good laugh) pouring over your books and finals. Now, that is probably not the best advice but it's good advice in the sense that you want to be making memories. You will do great on your finals and be just fine. Enjoy the last few days on campus.

3. Have real conversations: During my last week of school, I remember talking to all my friends and not about superficial things. We had real, heartfelt conversations and it really changed everything. During my last sorority meeting, all of the sisters go around and say how much the seniors mean to them, and vice versa. I had my sisters write letters to me and tell me how I changed the sorority and them. It made all the difference in my college experience and was one of my favorite moments ever. Tell your friends how much they mean to you, reminisce about the past four years, and make plans for the future. Sit around a fire, drink a beer, and enjoy the company because in a few days, it's all over.

This week is the week before you become an adult. It's the last week you have to be with your friends with no one to answer too. You're on your own, and you need to soak up every last moment. It'll be the best week of your life.

xoxo
B

So, here I am, sitting in my room at 10:45 AM on May 17th, 2015. This time last year, I was at Madison Square Garden, getting ready to close one chapter of my life and allowing a newer, scarier chapter to begin.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending Iona's graduation of the Class of 2015 to see my little, my sorority sisters, and countless friends close their chapter & begin a new one. It was very surreal, to be there, not in a cap & gown, and not be as emotional as I was last year.

It was very weird but very exciting because I knew that my sisters would be just fine. Last year, I didn't believe anyone when I said that I'd be fine but now, it was like I knew a secret that my younger sisters didn't.

Aside from that, it was truly an amazing day. Watching these girls I've known since they were freshmen & sophomores become these beautiful adults who have the entire world in front of them, I felt like a proud mom. It was also just amazing and so much fun to be with all my friends.

One of my best friends said it best, "I feel alive when I'm here." And it's so true... I never feel more myself or more alive than I do when I am in my element with all my best friends, my Gaels.

And with that, we have come full circle.

I've realized something over the past few weeks... I will never be over not being a college student. While I may not cry, may not dwell on it everyday, but I will always miss Iona and I will always be sad that that part of my life is over, and has been over for a year.

I don't feel like an adult. I may have a full time job (a dream job at that), I may have great friends and family, and a good life but I do not feel like an adult. I thought getting a job would make everything better but I've realized I need a lot more to be fulfilled.

What I need to be fulfilled, I don't know. Who I am, I don't know. That my friends, is a scary thought.

I'm in a much better place than I was 6 months ago, that is for sure. I've dealt with my anxiety, I know my triggers, I know how to be a more positive person, I know how to think more clearly, I know how to handle situations better than ever before.

This time last year, I would've had to be hospitalized over the fact that I had less than 24 hours to prepare for a business trip to Chicago... the first time I was ever on a plane alone. I could've never done that last year but my experiences in my first year of post-grad have helped immensely.

I've learned a lot this year... I've learned that some people will walk out of your life, with no explanation, I've learned that you can rekindle old friendships you never thought would live again, I've learned that if people don't understand you, they will try to bring you down with negativity, and I've learned that you are the only person who can make yourself happy.



No one else is accountable for your happiness so you must surround yourself with positive people. Just because someone doesn't approve of something, doesn't make it wrong. If you are happy and you know in your gut that it is okay, then do it.

I've learned that you have to make your own mistakes, you need to see life for yourself.

Am I still a little lost? Yes, but I think that comes with being in your twenties. I'll probably always be a little lost until I feel 100% settled.

I have to remember to have faith that fate is on my side. Everything is happening the way it's supposed too, everything happens for a reason, I can handle anything God and the universe throws at me, and I just really need to remember that my life will come together eventually.

So far, so good though...

I just have to keep trekking through and come to realize that everything will fall into place.

I will figure it out eventually but I have my shit together a lot more than I did a few months ago, which is always a plus.

I've finally fallen into a routine and I'm not completely pooped when I come home from work or on the weekends anymore so blogging should get back to normal, I'll be able to have a social life, and get my life back--fight the exhaustion!

To find out where I was a year ago, read my Letter to my 17-Year Old Self-- one of my proudest, most emotional blog posts to date.

Thank you all for reading, for commenting, for giving advice, and sticking with me through the craziest, scariest, transition of my life (so far!)