Ok so it's an e-book and I self published it but it still counts! 

It seems like my entire life has been leading to this point. I have always wanted to be an author and I used to dream about what it would be like to see my name on the cover a book, what it would be like to have a writing routine, to get all my ideas out on paper and have people read it the way I've read so many authors. 

It's a dream that I've been working toward for years, that is constantly on my vision board and now this year it's happening.

I have been feeling some type of way for the past few weeks. It's not anxiety, it's not sadness, it's not depression... it's just off and confused.

I'm feeling a little lost like I can't get myself together. I have so many thoughts running around in my head and can't seem to get them all together. I can't seem to put everything I'm feeling down on paper, or even into words.

I think most of this is stemming from what I want in my professional life. I guess I just feel kind of stuck, a little down on myself, and almost discouraged.

There is so much I want to do, so many places I want to work for, so many places I want to write for and nothing is happening. I'm trying my hardest to make things happen but I feel like I'm not moving fast enough, like I'll never get there.

I also feel like I want to write more and it was one of my goals for the year but so far, I haven't written a single article this year.

It's not that the blog isn't enough, it's just that I want to write different things. I want to be a journalist, which has always been my dream and the reason I am who I am, but how do I do that? I've gotten caught up in the social media world and now I don't know how to get off the ride, or how to go in a different direction.

I think I'm feeling very discouraged and like I need something to shake me up... I need some real guidance.

Does anyone else feel this way?

The past few weeks I've been really down, mixed in with some utter happiness about fall starting, but nonetheless, I've felt off.

It kind of feels like when I graduated and everything was up in the air. There was a lot of change on the horizon and new beginnings... it kind of feels like that now expect that nothing is really changing.

I feel like things should be changing though.

I guess I have stumbled upon the true quarter-life crisis, two months early. My 25th birthday is on November 30th and it feels like things should be moving at a faster pace. I feel old, I feel like I'm behind. I'm single, in the same job I was when I graduated (which is FINE because I really love my job), and still living at home.

I never compare myself to other people but right now,  I am. I see other people moving out and doing different things and I don't feel like I'm moving as fast as everyone else. I've always been a late bloomer, in so many ways, and I think that I'm just running late, as per usual.

I feel like I don't know where I want my life to go. Do I want to stay in social media forever? Do I want to move into full-time writing? Will I ever finish the book I'm writing? Do I want a total change and go into publishing? Will my blog ever make it?



There are so many career-related questions because my career is the only thing I have a real control over. My love life is another story... while I have some sort of control over that, I don't really because it's all about emotions and I'm a rather shy girl so I've never had much luck in that department.

My living situation...I'm perfectly fine at home. It's just me and my mom right now so it's like living with a roommate anyway. I don't feel financially responsible enough to live on my own just quite yet.

I feel like I'm losing control of everything and it's really scary to be at this weird crossroad that I was at just three years ago. Back then, I had an excuse, I had just graduated college.

What is my excuse now?

I'm hoping that I'll feel better soon and that maybe with some reading, writing, and planning I'll get over this hump... that is until November 30th when I'm officially in my mid-twenties.