As a followup to my Tuesday Inspiration post from a few weeks ago, I thought I'd talk about what it's like to be single, and actively trying not be single, during a pandemic.

I was broken up with at the start of the pandemic and felt so relieved of the timing of it all. Having to grieve a relationship while locked up at home as the world fell apart around us was oddly comforting. As an introvert, as someone who loves love and loves being in a relationship, the idea that I could just mourn the breakup without having to 'put myself out there' or force myself to go to bars and try to actively meet someone was refreshing.

I didn't have to listen to my mom or my friends tell me to buck up and get out there. Is there anything more annoying than people telling you what to do with your love life? I am an extremely shy person when it comes to relationships - I'm borderline prudish because I always want a relationship. I am not someone who is a casual dater or just wants a random hookup. I want a true, deep connection and I like to go at my own pace. It takes time for me to warm up to people, to see if I really like them, and if I find them worth it.

For someone who doesn't date a lot, I know exactly the type of 'dater' I am. 

That's why lockdown was perfect for me - I felt like I could be exactly who I wanted with no pressure because we couldn't go anywhere! I was able to have the best of both worlds: getting over my relationship while staying home without regret, and yet still being able to make connections with guys on dating apps. 

There was no pressure and it was glorious.

However, once things started opening up in the early summer months, it became a little more touch and go. I was finally having to break out of my cocoon and face the music - I was single and I needed to figure out how to navigate that world again.

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I talked to a ton of guys over the spring, summer, and fall months but didn't go out with any of them; they were all a bit strange or moving a little too fast and just didn't feel worthy of my time. Then things got bad again in the winter, indoor dining shut down and the holidays came hard and fast. I also wasn't in the best mental state so I put dating on the back burner. 

Everyone is struggling right now in the dating department - how do you date during a pandemic? 

  • Make sure the person you're thinking about going out with is taking the pandemic seriously. Masks, social distancing, etc. 
  • Rely a little more heavily on text communication (or calls/face time but I'm not about that life). If you want to play it safe, technology is going to have to play a role
  • Be more selective; don't go out with every guy to limit your exposure to the virus
    • Don't let anyone tell you how to feel or that you should give every person a chance - go with your gut
  • Don't put pressure on yourself if someone is making you feel uncomfortable, whether that is over text or in person
  • If you're getting weird vibes from someone pre-date, don't waste your time

One of the better things about the pandemic is that is exposed a lot of people's true colors, morals, and values. It's a lot easier to tell what is important to someone know so it helps to weed out the losers. *shrug*.

This is really just my take on dating during a pandemic. I've been very careful but also have been able to let up a little as cases go down and vaccines rise. I've been out on a few dates with one person and we talked for months before meeting (mostly due to schedules) but there have been weeks where we both decided to stay in because we were seeing family soon and wanted to quarantine. Having those equal values has helped a lot. 

My last piece of advice is to just take things at your own pace, go with your gut, and really don't listen to anyone. If you are not ready to date while the virus is still wrecking havoc, then don't! Don't let anyone tell you differently. 

For me, the pandemic as a whole really made me look at my life, made me feel my age and how I felt so 'behind' everyone else. I know that is not the healthiest outlook but I can't help how I felt. It made me look at the type of relationship I want as well as helped push me out of my comfort zone a little.

I realize this might not apply to everyone and it was a little all over the place but that's what my Tuesday Inspiration posts have always been! 

Do you have any advice about dating during a pandemic?

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