Today I turn 30 years old and I am a lot calmer than I thought I was going to be. My 20s were not pretty and if you've followed me since my 20th birthday, you know it hasn't been a walk in the park.
I've gone through a deep depression, struggled with my mental health, lost a lot of people in my life including my father, had my heart broken a few times and struggled in my career. My 20s were not carefree and fun, they were painful and filled with more life lessons than I'd care to admit.
I think that is why I'm so welcoming of this new decade.
I went through some dark shit when I turned 28 and 29 and in this past year, I think I kind of came into myself. I stopped listening to the outside noise; I accepted that timelines are nonexistent and everyone is on their own path regardless of age. I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to find someone to marry - why do we correlate success in life with marriage? It is very 1950s of us and I feel like I've made peace with that.
Life changes everyday and you never know where it will take you. I put that idea in the backseat this year and it felt freeing.
This year I also made other strides; I stopped weighing myself and explored food freedom. I'm sure I've gained a little weight but I'm comfortable in my skin and fine with the way I look. I stopped giving power to the number when it truly means nothing.
I also stopped caring what other people thought of me and starting saying no more; my FOMO was nonexistent, I didn't care if I chose to stay home vs going out somewhere I didn't want to be - I didn't care if people thought I was a 'loser' for not doing what society thinks a 29-year-old single woman in New York should do. I did what I wanted and that was freeing.
During the last year of my 20s I also improved my mental health, came up with new routines, finished writing a book (which needs editing), got a new job with a raise and promotion at one of the biggest beauty brands in the world and overcame some big losses that I didn't think I could. I'm really proud of myself and for everything I accomplished and I don't say that enough.
I am looking at this next decade with a light of positivity. I am putting it out into the universe that I will welcome good things. I will work hard, have fun and not worry about what I think I should be doing. Milestones don't come with age, they come with experience and I am really trying to put that all out there.
Maybe my 20s were a trial run, maybe I was meant to go through those troubled 10 years to make way for something really wonderful. Maybe my 30s is where everything good happens... or maybe I just jinxed myself. Either way, I do not have the attitude I thought I would on my 30th birthday and for that I'm grateful.
Thank you for spending the last 10 birthdays with me and here's to 10 more!
xoxo
B
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