Life starts all over when it gets crisp in the fall.
That quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald has been imprinted on my brain for years. It brings me so much joy and rings true in so many ways.
I don't know when I started to obsess over the fall season. Perhaps it was after I graduated college, a way to commemorate the start of a school year without being in a classroom. Maybe it was when I started to experience the change of seasons in Manhattan, how the air got crisp as I waited for my subway to work or how the leaves changed on my commute. Maybe it was when Pumpkin Spice Lattes started to become a trend, a mainstream novelty that sparked a thousand memes.
Maybe, deep down, I always loved the fall season. It had all my favorite things; back to school supplies, sweaters, candles, my birthday, Halloween and Thanksgiving. Fall always felt like coming home. It feels like a fresh start, fresher than January 1st. Perhaps it's the correlation of the start of school, ingrained in my brain from so many years of first days.
Either way, fall makes me feel whole. It makes me feel most like myself and makes me the happiest. I look forward to September all year long and once the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, I am longing for September again because I know the spring and summer are near.
I am convinced that I have reverse seasonal depression because whenever spring comes around, I feel off. I do not thrive in the hot weather and seek solace indoors, where I have access to air conditioning. I muster through June and July, hoping for the arrival of August because I know my season is right within reach.
Over Labor Day weekend I start to decorate my room for fall, having collected decorations from Target and Homegoods over the years. Once my leaves, pumpkins, and fall art are in place, things start to feel real and I get a renewed excitement deep within my soul.
Also over LDW weekend, instead of being at the beach, I go shopping for all my fall goodies; pumpkin spice coffee, creamer, bread and muffin mixes, new Bath and Body Works candles, and anything that calls out to me.
I put away my bathing suits and shorts, and bring out my fall sweaters and jeans, even though I might not be wearing them for another month or so.
Fall breeds new beginnings, it makes me so happy and I love looking forward to all the milestones ahead-- being able to watch Hocus Pocus, going apple and pumpkin picking, lighting that first fall candle... there is so much to be excited about!
Fall is also where all the good things happen to me; my birthday is at the tail end of the season, I joined my sorority in fall, fell in love for the first time during fall... I have the most fun during the fall. It just soothes my soul in so many ways.
Last year I felt robbed of being able to enjoy the fall. Covid was starting to peak again, we were coming off of a summer of protests and riots, the stress of the election loomed in the distance. I was also very depressed last fall, probably the most depressed I have ever felt in my entire life. I was in a horrible place that I never thought I'd get out of. Also, after a locked down spring, and a half & half summer, I started to feel the effects of my breakup that happened in March 2020. It was my first fall in two years without him and that hit me harder than I expected.
Therefore, I didn't feel like myself in the slightest bit. This year, though, I feel good. I just got a raise and promotion at work, have a great wellness and self-care routine in place, feel mentally well, and have so many fun things planned in the coming months. This will be a good season, I can feel it.
Everyone in my life knows that fall brings me immense joy. It's one of my little quirks but my goodness, it makes my life so much better.
Is the fall your favorite season? Tell me in the comments why it is!
xoxo
B
Add your comment