I had this post originally planned for tomorrow, but when I sat down on Sunday to write it, it felt unnatural. It wasn't originally a Tuesday Inspiration post, it was an update on how I've been dealing with my dad's death.

Last Friday was the 1 year anniversary which is why my weekly wrap up post was posted on Saturday. I wasn't too sure of how I would feel on the anniversary and didn't know what to expect but it was like any other day, I just felt a little more somber.

I was more upset on Thursday, anticipating it, and a little more mellow on Saturday afterwards. I went to work on Friday and then got dinner with a few friends afterwards; it was a normal day but in the back of my mind, it was still there.

When I sat down to write this post, I didn't know what I wanted to say because it just still feels weird. It's been one year without my dad and I still don't know how I'm handling it. I'm just at a loss for words when it comes to this; I miss him so much and I have to remind myself daily that he isn't here. It's very weird to wake up and remember that your life is different and someone you loved unconditionally is no longer with you.

I've been open with my grief but right now, I don't really know what to say.

I guess this is just a nonsense, rambling blog post & I apologize for that but sometimes I need Royally Pink to be a place where I dump my thoughts incoherently.

All I will say is that if you lose someone you love, no matter who it is, the sun still shines and the world still turns. You can get through it because I have and I know people who have as well. It is not the end of the world even though it may feel like it is. Take your time to grieve, but you will spend the rest of your life grieving; the pain will get better but you will still have times where you slip up and want to call that person and you know they will not be there.

You will get choked up and cry on the train looking at photos, and when you hear someone mention their dad it will sting like no tomorrow. But you can do it, because you have to.

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