If you missed the first installment, go read it now so you can set the scene for this post. I left off the last post talking about how nerve-wracking the first date was but now I want to talk about how it was to actually date, after the first.
You know that stage in a new relationship where things aren't crystal clear? Where you don't know if you like someone or if someone likes you? During those first five months (yes, it took me five months to really feel comfortable, maybe even longer than that), it was confusing for me because I was very aware that I had never done this before and that my boyfriend, M, was much older... well, he's 5 years older than me but still.
As we were starting to date and I knew that I really liked M, I was a little nervous on how we were going to move to the next level. Was I being too overbearing? Too clingy? Was he boyfriend? When would we be official?
These weren't thoughts that made me anxious but were just on my mind. I'll tall about this in a later post but I've been very chill for my entire relationship which a lot of people are surprised at.
Our first date was in June and we saw each other most weekends throughout the summer. Labor Day Weekend was probably the first weekend I didn't see M. After that, we saw each other pretty much every weekend.
It's wasn't an intentional thing where we made a plan to see each other only on the weekends, or every weekend for that matter but it was routine we fell into quite easily. He would come to my neighborhood one weekend, I'd go out to his the next. We would go for dinner, a movie, and then just hang out at the house. We had a nice little thing going and I wasn't worried about where we were headed next.
I liked taking things slow, it helped me really be sure of myself and the decision I was making. I was guarded with my heart and my life, so it took a really long time for me to be comfortable in this relationship.
I didn't even consider M my boyfriend until mid-October, and the first time he ever introduced me as his girlfriend was in December. It was just something that wasn't really important for me to bring up because I was sort of focused on enjoying time in our little bubble.
Dating M, before I was even sure where it was headed, was a significant part of our relationship. I wasn't talking to any other guys (and I'm pretty sure he wasn't talking to other girls, but honestly we never discussed it) so my energy was all in on him, but I was still aware that we were 'dating'. We weren't dating around but just dating each other.
We talked about everything and learned so much about each other in those first few months and I don't even think we realized what was happening. We became more connected, more in tune with each other, and just really enjoyed spending time together without friends and family coming into our space.
This time, to me, is super important in any relationship because you truly understand who someone is and if you can tolerate/enjoy spending time with them alone. If you're thinking about getting into a relationship with someone, take the time to date them without rushing into labeling it or moving too quickly.
xoxo
B
Add your comment