I just got home from seeing the Jonas Brothers 'Happiness Begins' tour at the Barclays Center and wow... I have a lot of feelings.

When I woke up this morning my Facebook memories told me that 12 years ago, I saw the Jonas Brothers for the first time ever. My friends & I woke up at 3 AM on Black Friday 2007 to be driven into Manhattan, to stand outside the Good Morning America studios and watch the Jonas Brothers, big hair and all, through glass windows. It was cold, dark, and crowded but wow, that first time seeing them was life-changing.

12 years later, with my best friend who I saw them with the first time, went to see their reunion tour. It was a real full-circle moment and really mind-blowing.

The Jonas Brothers have been a huge part of my life and it's something that I never really thought about until now.

happiness begins tour-the jonas brothers

As a 14-year-old girl, I discovered them right after the self-titled album came out. Something about them sparked joy in me and it didn't take long for me to become really obsessed. It was like something awoke inside me and I felt like I belonged somewhere... with the Jonas Brothers fandom. It sounds so weird but it's the truth.

Over the course of the next few years, life was tough. I was a teenager whose parents just got divorced, I was moving houses, I was in high school and trying to find my way in the world. It was really overwhelming, messy, and stressful. I had anxiety then but didn't realize it... but I think the way I coped with everything was by putting myself into this Jonas Brothers world. I needed an escape and their music, their personalities was it for me.

I had a Myspace fansite dedicated to them, was part of a community and really just loved everything they stood for. They wrote their own music, played instruments, came from a good family, had good values and just were themselves. The Jonas Brothers were the first artists to use social media to connect with their fans. They had a Myspace page and communicated with fans through there; they used Youtube to make funny videos to entertain us, and hosted Live Chats to connect with us on a deeper level. It was so cool and it helped me get through the bad times.

happiness begins tour-the jonas brothers

When I was feeling down, I just listened to their album, watched a funny video and it seemed like everything went away.

The Jonas Brothers also made me realize how much I love writing. That sounds super strange but it's true. I've never really told anyone this but I used to write fanfics about the Jonas Brothers, and they were pretty good.

I used to stay up all night in my teenage, Tiffany Blue bedroom (literally all night, I used to watch the sun come up) and would write stories about them. Sometimes they were famous, sometimes they were normal guys but I had the ability to create stories from scratch and it was really awesome. When I realized my imagination could go that far, and that people loved to read my writing, I knew that was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

The Jonas Brothers have helped me through the hardest years of my life and to have them back now, to have seen them in concert tonight brought me back. I felt like I was 15 again... and next week I turn 27 years old. It's pretty crazy to think that the last time I saw a Jonas Brothers tour I didn't have an iPhone, Instagram didn't exist, and I wasn't legally allowed to drink. The world was a different place 10 years ago and to have been in that arena tonight felt like coming home.

I remember reading in Rolling Stone, the first time they were on the cover, that a Jonas Brothers concert is louder than standing in front of a running jet plane. A doctor was featured in that article saying that something snaps inside a teenage girl's brain when she's surrounded by other girls, screaming for their teenage idols. It's a hormonal reaction to being so in love with someone you don't know... that part of the article has always stuck with me for some reason. It explained the way I felt when they came on stage and I couldn't control my emotions; I would cry, scream, shake, and just stand there in awe of the fact that I was breathing the same air as the band that has made me who I am.

Tonight, I let myself feel all of those emotions as I watched them perform my favorite songs. So much has happened since I became a fan but so much has happened in the past few years since they've been 'gone'. I'm a different person and so are they.

Tonight, the screams of thousands of girls were deafening but they always are. It felt amazing to be back in that place that has brought me so much happiness over the years.

I never feel more at home than I do with the Jonas Brothers on stage.


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