My Anxiety Story + How I Deal

I have always been a nervous child. After 9/11, my parents got me a dog to take my mind off of what happened. I've always been a worrier, and constantly wondering 'what if'. I was never able to be calm, and I kind of just accepted that this was how it was going to be.

When I got to college, I realized that this was called anxiety. I was really struggling adjusting to life away from home, and I needed to somehow cope with it. I went to the counseling center and proceeded to go my entire four years there. It helped me so much, I was amazed at the change in myself and how talking about my problems, even when I didn't feel like I had something to talk about was helpful.

I didn't go to counseling to cure me, but just to help me cope and understand more about myself and why I was so anxious.

I realized, like most people, I'm a control freak. I like to be in control and I like knowing what is going to happen. I don't like confrontation, and I don't like being uncomfortable. When you combine all of these things, you get a lot of anxiety.



Anxiety and depression also runs in my family, on both sides, so I really didn't have a fighting change.

Senior year of college my anxiety got a little better, which is weird, because I was about to embark on the biggest change of my life. I guess because I was having so much fun, I had life figured out and was top dog at school -- I was too busy to be anxious.

Then, the switch was flipped. I graduated and all hell broke loose. I was trying to figure out my career, my friendships, relationships, and adjusting to life outside of New Rochelle, NY. It was very scary, and my anxiety kicked into full gear. I have never experienced anything like this and it was very scary. Anxiety attacks were more frequent, I couldn't get out of bed, and could barely function on a daily basis.

I had crippling anxiety, and had no idea why. I can't explain the feeling, and people who don't experience anxiety won't really understand.



My anxiety is all physical; I can't breathe, I get very hot and I get a pit in my chest & stomach. This translates into me not being able to think about anything else but the reason for my anxiety.

It's even worse when I don't know the reason for my anxiety. I hate that more than when there is a reason for it; when the anxiety pops up out of nowhere, and I can't identify the reason, that cripples me.

I got to a point in 2014 when my anxiety was so bad that I started seeing a therapist. This helped immensley and like I said before, talking to someone once a week helped my anxiety level out. However, I knew deep down inside that this wasn't something that I could cure on my own. This was around the time I started taking Nervetonic and the relief that I experienced was unpalapable. I knew that this anxiety was something that I needed medical help in treating.

How I Treat My Anxiety

I had to stop going to therapy after I got my fulltime job and shortly after, I went to my phsyican and she finally put me on medication, Lexapro, to be exact.

It was such a relief when my body reacted to the medicine and as I kept taking it, my reaction to any anxiety decreased, and my anxiety that would happen for no reason, stopped. I was able to think more clearly when there was a problem, and it just made my life better. I could cry thinking about it because it was so lifechanging for me that I didn't have to suffer anymore.

After my dad died, my doctor increased my medication and then about a year later, I was switched to Celexa because my body was too used to the Lexapro.

I have a feeling that I'm going to have to change it again soon because I've been having more anxiety and massive panic attacks.

My anxiety and depression counteract each other, because if anxiety wasn't enough, I have depression too. There are some days (like last Friday) when I was so low and I could barely function because I felt so unhappy. I didn't want to talk to anyone and just wanted to lay in bed. The high of anxiety, and the low of depression mix together and give the most horrible feeling in the world.

The reason for me telling you all of this is to share where my anxiety manifested from and to let you know that it IS ok to seek help in the form of medicine. If you feel like your anxiety is just too much to handle, something is probably imbalanced and medicine will help that. I wouldn't be able to function the way I do without my meds.

I also highly recommend seeking out therapy. I have been thinking about getting back there because like I said, recently I've been having panic attacks which is something I haven't dealt with in over 10 years.

Other Ways I Deal with Anxiety

Aside from medicine, I also still take Nervetonic & my new found love, Big Chill from HUM, when I feel a little low during the day.

Mediation has also helped me, mostly when I have anxiety at night before I go to sleep. I use the apps 'Relax Meditation' and 'Calm' and it really makes all the difference.

In addition to natural meds and apps, essential oils have been a huge help. When I'm feeling a little anxious, I diffuse Lavendar and Peppermint oils, but if I'm on the go I have my Babe Magnet oil from Evil Queen (she doesn't have the oils anymore but your local drugstore should have rollerball oils which I highly recommend!)

If your anxiety or depression is taking over your life, you don't need to live like that. You can go to therapy to understand it or have your physican prescribe you something because you deserve to live a fulfilling, anxiety free life.

xoxo
B

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