January 21, 2015

How to Fall in Love with Anyone

This article was all over the Internet and the blogosphere last week. I made a mental and physical note to write this post because I thought it was so cool and I love jumping on bandwagons.

Hallie from Corals and Cognacs first posted this and then passed it around to all her blogger friends, whom I follow and adore. 

The NYT first published this article on the psychology of falling in love and how you can pretty much fall in love with anyone if  you choose. It explains how psychologists have tried to make people fall in love by having them sit and stare into each others eyes for four minutes. Those two people were later married. Weird, right?

I find the psychology of falling in love to be completely fascinating. Falling in love itself is fascinating... how your mind, body, and spirit just chooses this person. It's been said that love is like a addiction and that person your mind chooses is the drug. I'd have to hold that saying to be true. Love does crazy shit to you and I didn't believe it until I experienced it myself so how this article explains you could 'fall in love with anyone', is pretty strange and cool. 

"Most of us think about love as something that happens to us. We fall. We get crushed. But what I like about this study is how it assumes love is an action"—that's a quote from the article and I've never read anything more true.

Anyways...the article says that there is a study consisting of 36 questions that you and your partner answer in order to fall in love. I doubt I'd ever do this with a stranger but the questions seemed intriguing and I'd like to answer them...just to see.



I'm going to skip some of them because it would be too long and some don't work in this context. 

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?: Jackie O or  Kate Middleton. The classiest, most elegant women in the world. 

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?: I wouldn't want to be famous in Hollywood with paparazzi and tabloids but I'd like to be famous in a sense...as a journalist, as a writer, a blogger, an author...something with my career. I want to share my thoughts and words with the world so famous in that way. 

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?: Yes, always. I hate making telephone calls, it terrifies me. I like to know what I'm going to say and how I say it so I don't screw it up. 

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?: A day spent with no anxiety, no mood swings, in comfortable clothes, watching TV or hanging out with my friends.

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?: Probably sang some One Direction to myself yesterday. To someone else? Probably this past weekend at brunch with my sorority sisters.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?: Mind. My body means nothing if I can't act, think, talk, and be myself.

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?: No, not at all. Hopefully peacefully in my sleep.

8. Name three things you and your partner(readers) appear to have in common: We love to read. We love the Internet. We love feeling a sense of community with others who share similar interests. 

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?: A loving, supporting group of family and friends.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?: Probably my parents being divorced...would've made things a lot easier. 

11. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?: The ability to stop overthinking and overanalyzing...being able to live in the present and stop worrying about every aspect of my life. Basically I'd like to be more laid back.

Set II

12. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?: I'd like to know the truth about my career and my love life.

13. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?: Writing more outside of the blog. I want to write articles and get started on my book ideas. I haven't done it because my motivation isn't there. I'm always very lazy and tired when it comes time.

14. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?: I'd say walking across the stage at Madison Square Garden and officially becoming a college graduate. 

15. What do you value most in a friendship?: Loyalty, honesty, good conversation. 

16. What is your most treasured memory?: I have so many wonderful memories, I can't pick just one. Something during my senior year of college, definitely. 

17. What is your most terrible memory?: Something having to do with a fight within my family, probably. 

18. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?: I would do my best to live in the moment and stop making excuses. The couch and netflix and your computer will always be there. Get out there and live your life the way you want too, not how anyone else wants you too.

19. What does friendship mean to you?: It means being there for someone and being part of their life and supporting them in however they need you too. It means spending time together and having a good time, no matter if you're at a bar or sitting in your pajamas talking about nonsense

20. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?: We're very close. Whenever I need advice, depending on the situation, she knows what to say. She's pretty much always right. I would be lying if I said I went to her with everythingbecause I don't, nor do we never argue but she's my mom and she's always there.

Set III

21. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life: Probably saying something stupid when I was drunk or falling in the mud during an 8th grade kickball game.

22. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?: Cry in front of another person? Probably a few days ago in front of my mom or sister. By myself? Once again, probably a few days ago. I can't remember exactly. 

23. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?: How much I appreciated them and truly loved them. I tell them, probably just not enough.

24. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?: My computer...hands down.

Like I said, some of the questions didn't fit without having someone else there to respond so I cut out 10 of them. 

I'd have to say that I truly do think that you could fall in love with someone based on these 36 questions... maybe not JUST on these questions but it's a definite start. They get deep, you really get to know someone quickly when you hear their responses. This is an incredible study, very interesting.

What do you think? Do you think you could choose who you fall in love with, solely based on these questions?


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