August 27, 2013

An Ode to Senior Year

Dear Senior Year,

Today you officially begin. This will be my last, first day of school and I don't know how I feel about that. Since I was five years old I have counted on August and September to be back to school months and now, that is all being taken from me. 

This is the last time I will open a fresh page of a notebook, the last time I'll receive a syllabus for the first time, the last first day of school. 

Today, August 27th, comes appropriately as my last day first day of college; three years ago on August 27th I moved into my freshmen year dorm. I was scared, nervous, and very sad to leave high school behind and embark on this new journey. Now, I'm headed off to my last first day and I feel confident. It's amazing how things come full circle.

I'm a senior again and I'm not ready for it. I'm not ready for all the lasts and all the goodbyes. Being a senior is fun because you're at the top of the class but not fun because soon you will be forgotten. Soon you will leave campus for the last time and know that it'll be a while before you come back. 

People may remember you for the organizations you were in but if not, you will just become another alumni. You may not leave a legacy and that is scary. It's scary to think about being forgotten to a place you have called home for so long.

Senior year is one step closer to the real world, to being a real grown up. That scares me. I don't feel anywhere near ready to face the real world. I don't feel mature enough to work a 9-5 job. I don't want to leave the cocoon that is Iona College. I'm not ready.



With all my fears for senior year comes also my excitement and high expectations. It's going to be fun to live out the college life for one final hurrah. I'm excited that I will get one last chance at freedom and to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I am the leader of my senior year, of my life and I am going to make the best of it.

Senior year, treat me well. Give me lots of laughs, lots of late nights, lots of friends, and lots of memories. Please give me mornings where me and my friends lounge around with breakfast and discuss the previous night's events. 

Give me good classes and good professors with good grades. Give me the strength to lead the organizations that mean the most to me. Give me the clear mind to organize myself without stress.

Most of all senior year, treat me with kindness and love. Be gentle but be fun. I want to remember this year with great fondness and know that I did everything I wanted too. I want to remember this as the year that I stepped outside my comfort zone and made the best of.

Iona College, you are my home and you will always be the place where I found myself. Let the good times and serious times continue with one final year. 

This book is almost finished, I'm not ready to read the end.

How lucky we are to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?



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