I cannot believe it has been a year since New York City locked down. On March 14th, 2020, the restaurants, bars, schools, and other 'essential' businesses closed. I was at my best friend's bridesmaids brunch when we got the news and we were all freaking out a bit. It was really overwhelming, anxiety inducing, and scary.
As a world, we had never experienced anything like what we were on the cusp of and it was terrifying. We were watching China and Italy fall apart, and we had no idea that NYC was next.
I don't think anyone understands what it was like in March-May here in New York, unless you were here. I don't live in Manhattan but mid-March I went into my office to grab a few things and I felt like I was in a movie. There was no one on the streets. The only people I saw were the mailmen and delivery workers. I was shaken to my core when I left... I never saw my city like that and I never want to see it again.
The difference about NYC going through the pandemic this time last year was that we were going through it alone. No other state was experiencing the spikes in cases and dates that we were... we were shipping in doctors and nurses from around the country because we didn't have enough people on the frontlines, we had a ship in the harbor, hospitals were set up in parking lots and parks. It was intense. Watching Governor Cuomo speak daily was hypnotizing, watching the numbers go up and up was really sickening; at the height of it, I remember we had 800 deaths in a day. I couldn't believe what we were living through.
Politics aside, New York set the standard for how to handle the pandemic; the closures, the precautions, the extra hospital beds. We were figuring it out as the hours passed and to witness it was truly scary. When the first few people I personally knew died, it felt like a gut punch. It was devastating to know that their life was going to be a number, that we couldn't have proper funerals... it was just so sad.
What I remember so vividly was how unknown everything was; it's amazing to think that we know more than we did a year ago because there was a time where no one knew what the virus was like, no one knew what to expect so the incredible fear we all had of catching Covid was at an all time high.
Of course, to catch it now is still scary but doctors know what they're doing, we know more about the virus, if you are young and healthy, you will probably be ok. It just feels so different versus what life was like at the beginning.
On another note, it still feels all incredibly traumatic. I am not diminishing mental health disorders (you know I am a huge advocate of mental health) but I can't help but feel we all went through an incredibly traumatic experience. Never mind the healthcare workers who went through what I would classify as a medical war, but as a city, a state, a nation, a world... we went through trauma.
This week was hard for no particular reason but there was an underlying sense of anxiety. The articles, the memories, the knowledge that this time last year, the entire world changed. Also, the weather was really beautiful and it felt like spring which also kind of triggered me. I just can't believe that we have been living this way for an entire year, but in the same breath, I can't believe it's only been a year.
The days during quarantine were intense; I was still working while my mom and sister were in the rest of the house, trying to keep sane and busy. TikTok became a staple, my sister worked out multiple times of day. My friends and I organized Zoom calls, my sister and I learned TikTok dances, and we spent hours watching television. Life was so strange when the highlight of our week was going for a walk in the park (this wasn't until mid-May when things were a on the up) or going grocery shopping.
All that being said, I never felt bored. I'm very good at entertaining myself and it almost felt good to be stuck in the house. Being home is my favorite thing so I feel like I was kind of thriving, as horrible as it sounds.
People on TikTok has been romanticizing early quarantine and someone explained it perfectly; March/April was the only time during the pandemic where the entire country (and probably the world) was on the same page. We were all scared, all nervous, all waiting for the other shoe to drop and the only time where pretty much everyone was taking it seriously. If they weren't taking it seriously, or didn't believe it the virus (ridiculous!!) they were still stuck at home. It's pretty much the only time in our life we could say everyone was experiencing the same thing.
I know this was a very long, rambling post but I just needed to commemorate this moment in the time. One year into a pandemic, we are still wearing masks, still social distancing, still mourning, still learning, still changing, and still waiting for life to return to normal. But there is hope! 1 in 10 Americans are vaccinated against Covid-19 and what a beautiful statistic that is!
xoxo
B
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