January 22, 2014

Crazy, Obsessive Love

I would never write about something like this on my blog. I don't have a particular reason for it; lust, love and relationships is not something I've touched upon truly on Royally Pink, mostly because a lot of my friends read it and most of the time, there's nothing to tell.

There is something that has been on my mind recently and an article in the February issue of Cosmo titled "When love turns obsessive". It's all about what drives a woman to take their attraction to the next level. It's not just Facebook stalking anymore, it's driving to their houses and waiting outside or changing your class schedule to match theirs. 

This also doesn't have to do with relationships, per say, it's about if you're attracted to a guy or had a one night stand with them--why do women go nuts?

Side note: It's not just women who develop this obessiveness. I've seen and heard of plenty
of guys being a stage-5 clinger after seeing a girl in a bar or hooking up with them. The 
article itself focuses on women.

The article goes into full detail and tells multiple stories about how girls feel insecure when it comes to their guys. One women was so afraid of losing her boyfriend to his redheaded ex-girlfriend that she would follow redheads down the street to see what they had that she didn't. Girl, get a grip. Behavior like that irks me beyond words. 

Another story was that a girl who just started dating a guy had to move to Spain for work. He started to act distant but she wasn't getting the hint. She still loved him and didn't think him not answering her phone calls meant anything. When he broke up with her, she flew home and banged on his door in full tears. My goodness, what is wrong with you?

Paula Derrow is the author of this article and just bravo to her. I've never loved an article this way. In the article, she said something that opened my eyes to this obsessive phenomenon.

"Once we find someone we believe is right for us, we're literally driven to pursue that person. That's the way the brain is built." 

 I've never thought of it that way. I never thought that it was purely psychological when women go insane but it makes a lot of sense.

I am the first to say I hate crazy girls. I've seen it happen with my mom, my sister and a ton of my friends. They get mad because their guy said something in a weird tone of voice or they didn't text back right away or they tweeted something that didn't sit well with them. It's all overt-hinking, over-analyzing and honestly, it's not a way to get a guy. No guy likes when women act that insane, when they nit pick every part of every conversation.



I always prided myself on not being crazy. I always said that whenever I got into a guy situation I would never do that. I know what being crazy looks like, I know that it's better to be chill about things than to create a big deal. It's not good for you, it's not healthy. It will drive you insane and give you anxiety and make you worry. It will ruin your day.

I said all of that not truly understanding what it means. I might've gotten myself into a situation where I can now clearly see what every woman has been talking about. It is awfully easy to lose yourself, to get crazy and over think things. Waiting for a text message, reading into a tweet, social media stalking--it all adds up. It's easy to have normalcy turn crazy when it comes to guys. Hell, they do everything in their power to make you crazy sometimes. They might even do it on purpose.

I'm not saying I've turned the switch because I haven't. I'm not crazy and maybe that in itself makes me a tad bit off but after reading "Obsession Confessions" in the Cosmo article and comparing myself to others around me, I know it could be much worse.

The article explains it beautifully, "The biggest reason a healthy, normal infatuation fails to mature and instead shifts into an unhealthy obsession is when someone gives you just enough attention and encouragement to fuel your feelings but not enough for you to feel sure of him."

OMG. Please tell me that doesn't make perfect sense to you all. Attention is what we crave; I'm first to admit I LOVE attention, especially from boys. When someone is giving you all this attention, they know when to stop, where the line is. 

They tip toe forward just enough for you to take the bait and then pull you back. They don't reel you all the way in so you're flip flopping above the water, desperate to get onto the boat but they're not allowing you too. It drives you insane and makes you anxious. You just want some kind of stability. 

This is why people act crazy. It's why a one night stand turns into an obsessive love affair. It also doesn't help if your home life isn't ideal; you may just be programmed that way. 

There is always a line though and you should do your best to not cross it. Don't stalk his family, don't follow him around campus. Being crazy is not going to get you the guy, it's only going to make him turn around and make fun of you. Trust me, I've seen it done before.

What are your thoughts on "losing it" and "being crazy" when it comes to guys and relationships? 

PS: I'm not shaming women at all. I'm simply putting my on twist and opinion on an article and a topic that I've been thinking about. I know that men are just at fault but women are classified as "crazy" a lot more which is bullshit. 


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