October 7, 2013

The Little Things

For the past few weeks my head has not been in the right place. I've talked to many people about it and tried to figure out what is wrong with me. I just can't get my life together. I talked about this before and how senior year is really taking a toll on me and I don't know how to deal with it.

It's not just me, everyone on campus is struggling this semester. There is just so much to do and not enough hours in the day. I need a day or two off; I need to turn my phone off and just relax. I need to sit in a dark room with a book and magazine, some tea, and a television. I want to disconnect and take back control of my life.

I've come to realize the past few weeks that the little things in life can be good and they can be bad.

I have mentioned it in passing that I suffer from severe anxiety. The littlest things will set me off into a complete anxiety attack and I've learned to deal with that to a certain point. With everything that has been going on in my life lately I have definitely experienced days where I am ridden with anxiety. It may not have had an attack but it certainly affects my daily activities.

Over the past few months I have learned what sets me off and what situations will give me an anxiety attack. I also have seen that it's not only big, sticky situations that will set me off, the little things can harm me too.

Something as simple as a comment from someone, a running thought, or a text message has the ability to ruin my day. I hate being like that, I hate not being able to control my mind and my body when it comes to these stupid little situations. 

I don't know how to take control of that, I just want to be able to live with everyday things because that is part of life. At this moment, I don't know how to not let the little things affect me, it's a struggle for me and I recognize that. But how do I fix it?

If I can't control the tangible things in my life like my school work, my schedule, and my sorority, how do I control the non tangible things, like my mood and my anxiety? 

It's also the little things in life that make me happy. A compliment, a funny moment, seeing one of my friends, or having a realization about something that has been bothering me. 

Little things are good and bad, you just need to see which ones in your life are bringing you happiness
and which are bringing you down. 


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